Its weird to think about all thats happened and the time thats passed. The people who have come and gone from your life, The impact they've left and the things that remain. I wrote a letter long ago after an old flame and I parted, to be honest I don't blame him, nor hold it against him, face it, Canadian boy in Australia, the accents alone would get me. Still hurt to hear as he casually told my best friend at the time..but that was then and this is now. I am much happier and content where I am then I ever was before. Letters I'll Never Send You Dear You, I loved you some completely, and you betrayed me so terribly. I don't know why you did it, and I guess i'll never know. But i've had enough distance from it now that it doesn't hurt as bad. I still think about you everyday, but you killed that part of me that loved you. Despite your betrayal, I still think there were times you were truthful with me - In fact I refuse to believe it was all a...
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if i put those words on the page.
I wanted to write a book about my life, I'm not sure where I would start. Would I start from the beginning and create a big build up, or just start in the present and give you pieces here and there of how I became who I am today? Its weird.. I think of everything thats happened and everyone who's come in and out of my life and affected me to my very core. The ones who have loved me and the loves I have loved back, The ones that have hurt me and the ones I have hurt, coincidentally but unintentionally. Would I base it on the lack of family values I grew up with, or the friends that stood by my side? The relationships that crushed me, or the ones that held me up? Even as I'm writing these words I am undoubtedly thinking of you, everything I wish was different just to make you see. I may live in the suburbs, in a town not far from the city. Where the lights are high and the scene is happening, but when I see the movies of the small town values, the sense of comm...
The reckoning of 2018
I hope you remember that love isn't found in a significant other. Its not always buried in romance or attraction. Love doesn't stop at one person;it goes far beyond someone who holds your heart. Love can be found in every facet of your life - its all around you. Its wrapped in sunsets and sunrises where nothing else seems to matter - Time stops and its just you and the sky's radiant colors. Its embodied in your dreams and the things that move your soul. Its woven between the laughter and endless nights spent with the people that matter most. Love is so much more than that boy or girl that broke your heart. Love is what feels like home. Love is what you consider to be magic. Love is what awakens your soul. Promise yourself that you will always go where the love is - that you will always go where you feel the most alive. Because love isnt just anyone or anything - its everything. she wanted love, true love, pure and kind and untouched. the kind that wasn't ruine...
x meets y
I've been trying to write you, put you down on paper and make the words come alive, just how you made me come alive the second you walked into my life. Its weird, to think that we started just as quickly as we ended. I would of spent a life time with you. I walked right up to you and you set my soul on fire, just like that. Its funny to think of the line " you had me at hello. " because you had me right before. I saw you and I smiled, and you smiled back because you knew. Now a year and a half later I`ve grown so much, learned and experienced so much. I truly see the world in a different way. But how do I move on when your fingertips are still on my heart and your voice still resonates down to my toes and your smile lives in my eyes and every time my mind wanders it goes directly to you, and wherever you are. I walk down memory lane, because i love running into you. Memories, a magical thing really, its amazing to wonder how a flashback can bring back so many memories...
It's that life altering love, the changing one, the long distance one. It's not like the love that's constantly surrounding you, it's the kind that. survives only by phone calls and short term trips. It's having someone fully understand you, a different kind of intimacy It's the kind that opens you, teaches you and tears you open. It's more vulnerable then everyday love. I've had that ex... The cheater, the womanizer, the nice guy gone bad, the one you thought would always be there Not all the same of course, but small pieces of each found in every one... Well it seams I've found all in one The one I thought would be different, but your just the same Told me pretty lies but they were just lies all the same I'm better without you, you let me down. your good at that, making people believe they are more important to you then they actually are. Was it hard, Letting go? Not as hard as holding onto to something that wasn't real. I des...
I don`t think we`ve ever been completely honest with eachother.. So let me tell you all the things I`ve buried deep inside. For starters, I have never stopped loving you. You got distant, I got scared Maybe you were scared too. We were Young, maybe too young A very close friend asked me on average, how many times you cross my mind, Truth is, only once.. Because you never really left. But I`m scared. hell you terrify me. The idea of letting you get too close... Of you seeing the parts me I desperately want to hide.. Of you realising I`m not the one you wanted.. Of getting attached and you running. Maybe we`ll meet again one day, when your not so broken and I`m not so jealous. Maybe one day we`ll be right for each other and it won`t be so hard for you to love me I really hope that one day we`ll reconnect because no one has ever caught my heart in quite the same way.
Lately, you've been crossing my mind more often than not. I'm not sure what that space is between seconds is called, but your constantly there. Thinking back to it, I don't regret anything. The first time I laid eyes on you I knew, you would become someone important to me. And you are. I want you to know I wasn't always like this. I was cold, I still am. But you got under my skin, you caught me off guard. Instead of pushing you away I held you closer. I allowed myself to feel everything instead of dismissing every notion. So tell me pretty lies, Look me in the face Tell me that you love me Even if its fake, I have feelings for you, I act like i dont fucking care Like they ain``t even there, Cause Im so fucking scared.