Chapter Two ; The bistro

So has I mentioned in chapter one, while trying to figure figure out my life's path, a fairy needs to work to support the joy she spreads across the land. One of my jobs, is working as a waitress at a modern bistro. This is a great job, because it keeps me busy, and allows me to interact with all sorts of people at the same time, which I love. There are some quirks though. Sometimes your customers are rude, or consider you to be there slave for the duration of their meal, or my favourite, the customers who just like to complain.

My regulars are absolute gems, especially at lunch because they make the time fly by, plus they're always generous. There are some tips I wish I could give them though, for example, just because you come to our restaurant every other day does not give you the right to create your own menu. If we have a regular hamburger on our lunch menu, please don't order a California burger. My chef changes the chef features weekly for a reason, if your California burger didn't make it on this week, there is a reason, please respect that and order one of the other very edible and delicious things on this weeks menu. 

Furthermore, and this one never ceases to amaze me, is when your in the juice, serving 12 tables at once, 6 have food being dropped, 3 more have drinks waiting at the bar and one of your important customer needs a lemon to go with his salmon. Obviously this is not something that can wait, or something he could of mentioned earlier while you weren't quite so busy and asked if anything was needed to enhance their meals. These customers will forever be known as the "baby droppers." I think their great people, but for the love of God, when I ask you in you need something, please tell me then and not in 5 minutes while I'm busier then God on the 6th day. 

Another amazing thing about my regulars is how they're always so happy, and they always, in such a way  insist my section. They ask about my life, how schools going, how work is and how my social life is. They tell me about theirs, how work is going and how their kids are. Super adorable. The one thing I always want to tell them however is, when you ask me if I'm single, or ask how my boyfriend is in such a way as to inquire if there actually is one, the answer will always be the same. Yes I have a boyfriend, yes he is amazing, and yes he treats me like a princess. Even if I do not actually have a boyfriend when you ask me, this will always be the answer, because although I'm sure your son is great and we'd get along famously, and that I'd make a great daughter-in-law in the future, I do not want to be set up with this person I do not know. Also for the customers who don't have sons, I will reply the same, because I do not want to go for supper with you. My fake boyfriend will be really uncomfortable at the very thought of me going to enjoy a meal with a man 20 years older then me who probably just got divorced and has some sick theory that he needs to be with a much younger woman to make his ex wife jealous. I probably served her as well and that would just be totally inappropriate and awkward. I'm sorry and I'll continue to entertain the notion every time you ask, but please understand it will never happen.

My favourite customers are the ones who have a company card and a grudge against their bosses. They order the most ridiculous things, never finish any of it and drink way too much, thus increasing my tip which is awesome. Plus they're always blowing off steam with the clients from out of town and want to show them a good time while their in the city. What this means is you can joke around with them, I can chirp one guy at the table, usually the one from Toronto, and insist he must do a shot of something hilarious between meals. This makes the customers laugh and have a good time, plus keeps me busy on the slower nights. For the customers that do come from toronto, I want you to know I personally have nothing against you, I just sorely dislike Onterrible for unknown reasons.

The job is also really great in terms of you never really need to go to the gym, because your working so often you don't really have time to eat poorly. Your constantly running around in circles, which in turn must be the equivalent to running 5k in high heels. You also save a lot of money, because again your working so often, on your days off you just want to stay in bed. Unless your going for a drink after your shift, which sometimes is necessary after a long night, you never really have time to blow your money on useless things.

As for our customers, there are 3 types; the customers who go out regularly , the customers who go out for special occasions, and the customers who never go out. I promise you most waiters can tell what kind of customer you are before you even order your drink. The customers who go out regularly, they understand that the waiters aren't prim and proper career waiters.Although they always leave satisfied, compliment the server and return for more. The customers who go out for special occasions, for example the ones who order one glass of wine at dinner and need to be home before 10 for the sitter, judge our staff. They might think their edgy waitress with the new hairstyle is really happy and bubbly, but in the back she's probably cursing your overly modified order.  Or the career waiter is just serving tables because he never got a degree, when actually his degree is higher then yours and could potentially own a house and a boat. That our younger manager is super happy having found such a high position at such a young age, when really he would prefer a career in his field with normal business hours.

Another thing, don't forget that if your tipping your waiter, he/she is not flirting with you. We see and hear everything. So when your complimenting our physique as were walking away, we hear you. We may not voice it, but its definitely been registered. Little tip for all you men out there; next time you decide to take your wife out for dinner before "heading back to the office" and returning with your mistress, just be glad your hostess doesn't ask is you want the same table as earlier.

This one I feel should be a universal realisation. If your out to dinner on a date or with friends, and the person your with isn't nice to the server, who is really only there to serve you and make sure you leave satisfied, THIS IS NOT A GOOD PERSON. Another fine tip, when a manager or server offers you  a round on the house for either being a good customer or smoothing over the fact that your table was delayed, please for the love of God do not expect this every time you return. Just accept it as good karma for not being a total dick about the situation, otherwise you look like an ass.

All in all, being a waitress lets you see some very interesting things. A lot makes you question the very motives and reasons as to why people act the way they do. Maybe its their upbringing, maybe its an unfortunate series of events that caused they to act the way they do, but all of this makes a fairy curious to find out why. It's like seeing a movie for the first time, and wondering how the screen writers came up with that scenario.