Oh Dear,
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. They make me giggle EVERY TIME! I mean seriously guys...
1.) On a sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that;s the only time I have to work on my hair)
2.) On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special??)
3.) On a bar of dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap. "
(and that would be how??......................)
4.) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, its "just" a suggestion.)
5.) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down"
(well...duh, a bit late, huh )
6.) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating"
(...and you thought??..............)
7.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn;t this save me more time?)
8.) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine-- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
9.) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness........"
(And... I'm taking this because???)
10.) On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor and outdoor use only."
(as opposed to.. what? )
11.) A Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
12.) On Sainbury's peanuts -- "Warning: Contains nuts."
(Talk about news flash)
13.) On an American Airlines Packet of Nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh..fly delta?)
14.) On a child's Superman costume -- " Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly"
( I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one. )
15.) On a swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
( Oh my god.. was there a lot of this happening somewhere?? )
1.) On a sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that;s the only time I have to work on my hair)
2.) On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special??)
3.) On a bar of dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap. "
(and that would be how??......................)
4.) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, its "just" a suggestion.)
5.) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down"
(well...duh, a bit late, huh )
6.) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating"
(...and you thought??..............)
7.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn;t this save me more time?)
8.) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine-- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
9.) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness........"
(And... I'm taking this because???)
10.) On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor and outdoor use only."
(as opposed to.. what? )
11.) A Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
12.) On Sainbury's peanuts -- "Warning: Contains nuts."
(Talk about news flash)
13.) On an American Airlines Packet of Nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh..fly delta?)
14.) On a child's Superman costume -- " Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly"
( I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one. )
15.) On a swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
( Oh my god.. was there a lot of this happening somewhere?? )
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