You look like something is blooming
A fairy is a loving creature, a caring kindred soul if you will. Let me tell you, I've no intention of loving people by halves, it's not in my nature. My attachments are always excessively strong. Everyone whom I have even loved or felt a connection to, has taught me things, made me realise things and opened my heart just a tiny bit more. I have a handful of past loves that have made me into who I am today, of course along with the help and influence of my friends. There will always be a reason why you meet someone, either you need them to change your life or you're the one that changes theirs. There's always that one person that comes into your life though, whether it be for a short amount of time or an eternity, that shakes you up. This person stands out from all the rest. They come out of nowhere, walk right into your life and rattle the very foundation to which you exist upon. This person might just be your soul mate. While I believe in life you have more then one soul mate, this one is different. They show you everything that is holding you back, bring everything to attention in such a way that forces you to change. This is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. This person tears up your ego, and breaks open your heart, drives you so out of control that you have no choice but to transform your life.
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We all have the potential to fall in love 1000 times in our life time. Its easy, you start talking and getting to know each other, noticing the little things they do that makes them stand out from the rest, things that to you are just incredibly adorable and you can't get enough of. The first person I ever loved was someone I met when I was 12, and the last person I will love is someone I haven't even met yet, probably. They all count. They all teach you something about yourself. But there are certain people who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. I think these are the most important people, and your only going to meet a handful over your life span. Cherish these people because they break down your walls piece by piece.
There's one more tier to all of this though: there will always be one person you love that becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the one person who unknowingly sets the bar for what you will always love about another person, even if these lovable qualities are self-destructive. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different from anyone else, and their often just someone you happen to come across the first time you really, really want to love someone. Like a little present wrapped with a bow on it from the universe for finally accepting to spread your love and spirit with the world. But alas, this person will always win. They win and you lose, because from that moment on, for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.
I thought I had come close to this a few times. That moment when your with someone and they do something, and in that instant you realize, this is the person for me. This is the guy that I want to go long term with, get to really know and experience things with. But then somewhere down the line, as the months pass and they get comfortable things start to unravel. It wasn't until later in life I realized that was misplaced puppy love. Real love is like setting your soul free. Real love just is.
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Relationships are a funny, something about them anchors you to another person, Gives you something to look forward to. Even on the bad days, the days when your tempted to look back. The best relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself. You cannot love another until you truly love yourself.
There are a few relationships I've had where I'd gotten to the point of realization. The first one was my high school sweetheart, it was one of those relationships where you think you'll end up marry the person. We dated for almost 3 years, we were inseparable. But there comes a time to grow up, and we drifted apart. Parting ways with this boy was probably one of the hardest things I had to do, but it was for the best we wanted different things and it was affecting our relationship in ways that were unrepairable. Breaking his heart broke my heart, but it also made us stronger. We remained friends, but the pain was still there even after years to come I don't think he ever really got over it.
My second realization, the first time I think I really experienced real heartache was with a guy I dated in cegep. We worked at the same toy store and became close friends quickly. He was rather shy and quiet, more of the nerd type, but god he was brilliant. He didn't think he deserved me, tried to become more stylish and fit for me, I didn't need it though, he was my everything, or at least I thought he was. He left for the summer and promised our love would last, that we were stronger than that. We spoke almost every day, and we'd send love letters every other week in the mail. After a short reunion in the middle of the summer, he decided he had to break it off, because being away from me for another 5 weeks was too much for him to bear. I think I actually felt my heart break in that moment, like a glass being shattered on the floor in slow motion. The slow motion where you see and feel in everything and time seems to last forever. We eventually got back together, but it wasn't the same, I had my guard up and he left again for Australia. I'll always remember his voice, it was the soundtrack of my summer. Sometimes I still cry when I read his letters, thinking when a relationship ends, where does the love go? But the things we experienced together cannot be taught, they must be felt with the heart, and that's exactly what we did.
The one I really hope you can all relate to is, falling for the wrong guy at the wrong time. I dated this one guy on and off for a couple years. We'd be good for a few months and he'd start acting weird, giving off signals that just made you want to run for the hills. Like he was falling for me and getting scared, and doing everything humanly possible to sabotage it. WHY DO MEN DO THIS?! The real kicker though, is after realizing we were either too similar or too different, we tried again. I figured he had matured, seeing as he went off to follow his dream and then returned on an ill fated lie. We got along well, started hanging out, and somehow, someway, we ended up in a relationship again.Still to this day, I wonder how I let him back into my life. But every fairy knows, there are no regrets, just lessons learned. Everything went fine for about a month and a half, and then he started acting weird. Started challenging everything and creating petty arguments for no reason. As we were planning on moving in a few months, a bunch of red flags started to appear. News flash to every guy out there: Unless you're dating a stage 7 clinger, if you tell your girlfriend that you need space, or you can't talk that day, your girlfriends isn't thinking "Oh gee, he says he's busy, so I should probably head to his place to make sure." That's called a mixed signal, and mixed signals cause doubts. He started telling me I need to change, to become more of what he wanted me to be and less myself. What an awakening, always remember ladies; Do Not Change For Anyone. If someone loves you they are not going to ask you to change. They are going to love you for exactly what you are. Obviously the relationship ceased to exist, be careful what you say to those you love, for it sticks like glue in their memory for years to come.
The person that really changed me, set the bar for love's definition is someone I will always hold dear to me. But that is another story all on its own...
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"There are certain people who come into your life, and leave a mark, Their place in your heart is tender; a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business. Just hearing their name pushes and pulls at you in a hundred ways, and when you try to define those hundred ways, describe them even to yourself, words are useless"
-Sweethearts
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We all have the potential to fall in love 1000 times in our life time. Its easy, you start talking and getting to know each other, noticing the little things they do that makes them stand out from the rest, things that to you are just incredibly adorable and you can't get enough of. The first person I ever loved was someone I met when I was 12, and the last person I will love is someone I haven't even met yet, probably. They all count. They all teach you something about yourself. But there are certain people who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. I think these are the most important people, and your only going to meet a handful over your life span. Cherish these people because they break down your walls piece by piece.
I thought I had come close to this a few times. That moment when your with someone and they do something, and in that instant you realize, this is the person for me. This is the guy that I want to go long term with, get to really know and experience things with. But then somewhere down the line, as the months pass and they get comfortable things start to unravel. It wasn't until later in life I realized that was misplaced puppy love. Real love is like setting your soul free. Real love just is.
********************************************
Relationships are a funny, something about them anchors you to another person, Gives you something to look forward to. Even on the bad days, the days when your tempted to look back. The best relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself. You cannot love another until you truly love yourself.
There are a few relationships I've had where I'd gotten to the point of realization. The first one was my high school sweetheart, it was one of those relationships where you think you'll end up marry the person. We dated for almost 3 years, we were inseparable. But there comes a time to grow up, and we drifted apart. Parting ways with this boy was probably one of the hardest things I had to do, but it was for the best we wanted different things and it was affecting our relationship in ways that were unrepairable. Breaking his heart broke my heart, but it also made us stronger. We remained friends, but the pain was still there even after years to come I don't think he ever really got over it.
My second realization, the first time I think I really experienced real heartache was with a guy I dated in cegep. We worked at the same toy store and became close friends quickly. He was rather shy and quiet, more of the nerd type, but god he was brilliant. He didn't think he deserved me, tried to become more stylish and fit for me, I didn't need it though, he was my everything, or at least I thought he was. He left for the summer and promised our love would last, that we were stronger than that. We spoke almost every day, and we'd send love letters every other week in the mail. After a short reunion in the middle of the summer, he decided he had to break it off, because being away from me for another 5 weeks was too much for him to bear. I think I actually felt my heart break in that moment, like a glass being shattered on the floor in slow motion. The slow motion where you see and feel in everything and time seems to last forever. We eventually got back together, but it wasn't the same, I had my guard up and he left again for Australia. I'll always remember his voice, it was the soundtrack of my summer. Sometimes I still cry when I read his letters, thinking when a relationship ends, where does the love go? But the things we experienced together cannot be taught, they must be felt with the heart, and that's exactly what we did.
The one I really hope you can all relate to is, falling for the wrong guy at the wrong time. I dated this one guy on and off for a couple years. We'd be good for a few months and he'd start acting weird, giving off signals that just made you want to run for the hills. Like he was falling for me and getting scared, and doing everything humanly possible to sabotage it. WHY DO MEN DO THIS?! The real kicker though, is after realizing we were either too similar or too different, we tried again. I figured he had matured, seeing as he went off to follow his dream and then returned on an ill fated lie. We got along well, started hanging out, and somehow, someway, we ended up in a relationship again.Still to this day, I wonder how I let him back into my life. But every fairy knows, there are no regrets, just lessons learned. Everything went fine for about a month and a half, and then he started acting weird. Started challenging everything and creating petty arguments for no reason. As we were planning on moving in a few months, a bunch of red flags started to appear. News flash to every guy out there: Unless you're dating a stage 7 clinger, if you tell your girlfriend that you need space, or you can't talk that day, your girlfriends isn't thinking "Oh gee, he says he's busy, so I should probably head to his place to make sure." That's called a mixed signal, and mixed signals cause doubts. He started telling me I need to change, to become more of what he wanted me to be and less myself. What an awakening, always remember ladies; Do Not Change For Anyone. If someone loves you they are not going to ask you to change. They are going to love you for exactly what you are. Obviously the relationship ceased to exist, be careful what you say to those you love, for it sticks like glue in their memory for years to come.
The person that really changed me, set the bar for love's definition is someone I will always hold dear to me. But that is another story all on its own...
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